


To Be, Rather Than To Seem

by Hexworthy



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Fluff, Happy Ending, In My Scope Zine, M/M, Night Circus AU, Zine piece, snippits
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-13
Updated: 2019-07-13
Packaged: 2020-06-27 11:47:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,069
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19790254
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hexworthy/pseuds/Hexworthy
Summary: The Night Circus arrives and leaves unexpectedly and brings everyone together. When it arrives, in a small town it keeps bringing together Lance and Ryan. Maybe fate has something in store?





	To Be, Rather Than To Seem

**Author's Note:**

> My Piece for the In My Scope Ryance Zine!!! We're allowed to post now so enjoy! this is a new writing style for me but one that I enjoyed!!!

No one knows when the circus arrived, whenever it visited. One day, the field was empty, the next, it was full of black and white tents with a sign saying it opened at sunset. In the middle, stood a cauldron that was alight with a white flame and an aura of excitement that drew in everyone from the town. 

Lance was no exception. It was his first _Cirque des Rêves,_ at age four, and the shades of white and black enraptured him. There was food he had never seen, the most beautiful clock and tents full of wonder and amazement. His twin and himself couldn’t contain themselves as they dragged their parents round from one tent to another. It was their birthday afterall, and the last day the _Cirque_ had been here, it had been the day the twins were born. 

He looked around and saw wonders galore. There were statues that moved so impercibtabley they looked like they were caught in a dance for centuries. Contortionists showed off their skills while people meandered through the tents. The tents themselves were magical, some were over a century old, like the cloud maze and ice garden. A tent with a tree as a memorial for those who had died who had given life to the circus. The great clock and carousel. 

Lance could feel the magic as it hung in the air. He felt it dance on his skin and followed it to behind one of the newer tents, a reader with an affinity for tarot cards, he thought he saw a flash of an old victorian dress and a top hat caught in the wind. He hadn’t realised he had walked from his parents or the fact he had run into a kid the same age as him. 

Ryan Kinkade was minding his business while his mother was in the tent, he had felt too hot and he had seen an interesting man in a tailcoat outside and wanted to see what he was doing. He watched in awe as the man manipulated the smoke around him and vanished. The same time a boy ran into him, blue eyed met his. He felt something as they stared. Something that bound them. The boy reached out and Ryan felt a pull. He wanted to reach out, he almost did but the appearance of his mother stopped him. He turned while waving and ran to his mother’s waiting hand. 

It was lucky the circus had arrived when it did, sunset was early and it meant Ryan could stay there and still be ok for bedtime. His mother had thought it would be nice for him to go, for him to get out a bit, especially as he kept to himself at the nursery he attended. He had fallen in love with the _Cirque des Rêves_ and when he had woken up the next morning he had begged to go back. He saw more of the circus and decided it was his favourite place in the world. Though he kept subconsciously looking for a boy with tan skin and blue eyes.

The day after, the Night Circus had left. 

Five years later the Night Circus arrived once more. It was Lance’s first late night out, and along with his twin, he was going to the _Cirque des Rêves_ which had appeared on his birthday again. He didn’t mean to wander away, but his siblings had run off as soon as they could, and a new watch sat on Lance’s wrist. He knew where to meet up and the circus was safe, surprisingly nothing bad happened in the circus. 

The candyfloss seemed to change flavours with each bite. The flavours danced in his mouth and he wandered through the tents. The scent of the sawdust bringing back vague memories of his first time. The cloud maze was as wondrous as it was the first time and he spent a full hour studying the clock, committing it to memory. He had utterly fallen in love with the _Cirque des Rêves_ and he didn’t want to leave. 

Lance kept looking around trying to see all that he could, and just like last time he ran into someone. The same someone. His hair formed soft dreadlocks and the same look of surprise adorned his face. This time Lance smiled and ran off into the crowd with the boy.

Ryan couldn’t resist following the blue eyed boy. The same blue eyes from four years ago, the same scents of sweets and cake and treats mixed into one. They didn’t really talk, just laughing and running around through the tents and enjoying the _Cirque._ They ended the night when the boy pointed to a gaggle of people near the cauldron with a “My family is waiting for me! Bye!” 

For some reason, Ryan felt eyes on him. Eyes no one could see. He thought he heard soft peals of laughter, soft and teasing. As if it was telling someone to quit being mean, as if it was directed to someone the owner truly adored. 

Ryan shrugged it off and continued around, marveling at the details in everything. He eventually sat down in one of the tents as a performer with grand flourishes entertained the crowd. Somehow it didn’t feel the same. It wasn’t the same magic from before. This was a diversion to hide sleight of hand. The real magic lay just beyond. Something was pulling him back to one of the oldest tents, yet the white wasnt dulled or the black faded. There wasn’t as many people but the person who was there was a true magician, the magic making the soft hairs on his arms stand up. It drew him to an older lady and man, who told stories, from the stars and from his past. 

“The circus kept us young but it’s going to be time to move on soon. No one can live forever.” The older man said as he watched the lady softly and silently dance with another older man. The pair looked over to them, the man was wistful. Ryan thought he’d understand when he got to that age. 

“I’m a hundred and fifty ish, so’s my twin, just don’t tell anyone.” Winked, and hobbled over to one of the performers. Ryan went home soon after, and dreamt of black, white and eyes as blue as lapis lazuli. 

At sixteen, Ryan had read up on Filmography. He knew what he wanted, where to do it and how to get there. The events of seven years ago were distant memory, dormant in his subconscious. He wanted to be behind the camera, making a kind of magic that existed. The _Cirque des Rêves_ was still an enigma. It hadn’t visited his town since he was nine, and as much as he loved it, he knew working in it was a pipedream. He seemed to never be able to visit it when it was close enough either, he decided to move on, to get over himself and his childish fantasy. Deep down he knew he never would and would drop everything to spend just one more night, one full night, in the Night Circus. 

Lance had never stopped loving the Circus either. He was entranced and despite his love for the water and the stars, the _Cirque_ resonated with him in such a way. Maybe because it visited on his birthday. Or it was that he felt more alive in the grounds than out of it. Maybe it was he was drifting from his friends and he wanted somewhere he belonged. His family was enough but he wanted more. He wanted to care about something with his whole heart and for it to not be torn from his grasp.

While Rachel had her sweet 16th on their birthday, Lance was blessed by the return of the _Cirque._ He crept out the room and told his parents where he was going. He felt his blood sing as it pumped through his veins. Like he was being called home. Maybe he was or he wasn’t, but the _Cirque_ was his thing. All the shades of black and white and inbetween. 

He waited outside the gates as the sun started to set. The odd person milling about either waiting or lighting the lamps. As soon as the sun touched the horizon it was like life had been breathed into the grounds. Everything was full of colour and light. The tents seemed to come alive as people emerged and welcomed him in.

Lance visited the new tents and the old ones. But somehow he kept being drawn back to the two ‘statues’ next to the cauldron. Lance sat on a free bench and watched them. He finally realised that they were moving, so slowly, so painstakingly slowly, and the story they were portraying. Two lovers caught in a game they couldn’t escape. A game where one of them would die, yet finding a way out to be with each other for eternity. Lance didn’t notice when a lady of considerable age sat next to him and started to talk to him.

“That’s the story of the two people who created the _Cirque._ This place truly is made of magic. See this people with red accents?” Lance nodded as he saw the people walking by, hair pins, handkerchiefs, anything really that was red and visible. “They’re _Rêvers,_ Dreamers, people who follow the Night Circus anywhere around the world because they love it so much. But you are like me, born for the Circus. The stars tell such stories about you.”

Lance was confused. He knew the lady ran one of the tents, open to the stars with a tree in the middle. Around the walls were stories drawn and written for all the world to see. He was just a boy from Cuba who moved here a little before his fourth birthday, he wasn’t anything special. Lance was contented to sit and watch the story of the statues unfold as they told their story. 

Ryan couldn’t believe his luck when he saw the Circus on his way home. He sent his mother a quick text and headed over with the flock of people who had decided to visit that night. It surprised him when he saw a pair of blue eyes he thought he had imagined, no eyes could really be that blue. He made his way over to the other teenager and sat next to him. 

He felt a tug, and he smiled as he asked if the seat next to him was free. Ryan knew he wasn’t straight but the smile that was flashed his way proved it. The look on the other’s face was of wonder and love. Love for the circus. Something that was currently a tiny flame in side of Ryan, that was being fanned into a raging inferno once more. He remembered a memory from when he was nine, the same person, he felt his heart strings pull a bit. Here was someone who loved the _Cirque des Rêves_ as much as he did. He wanted to know him, this wasn’t the first time they had met and it had to be something, the universe telling him something. He thought about the illusions and magic and maybe this was his sign to do something. 

He took that step.

“My name’s Ryan. I think we keep meeting here?” Way to go, How to Be a Creep and Scare People Away, a guide by Ryan Kinkaid. 

“Lance, I think we do.” A name, Ryan had a name. “I met you years ago. I ran into you didn’t I?”

“We did. I never really got these two statues,” Lies, “Wanna explain them to me?”

It was worth the look of joy on his face, as he described the scene. Ryan couldn’t resist that smile, the energy and the love for this place. It reminded him of himself before reality got in the way. Except, that passion wasn’t just for the _Cirque_ , it transferred to all aspects of his life. 

They talked all night into the sun rise, until the story was finished and the first rays of light touched the iron gates. They had talked about what they wanted to do when they got to uni, their interests and what they loved the most. 

More importantly, Lance had tentatively asked for his number. He had made a friend but it didn’t stop a pull in his heart as they walked out together and then in separate directions. The town they lived in wasn’t large by any means, but it was large enough for them to not meet up or know each other without the influence of the circus. They lived on opposing ends but they had each others number, and Ryan wouldn’t lie to himself as he smiled at the text he had just received from Lance. Or that he was looking forward to when they could meet up again. He had to fight to keep the feelings in check because he knew it wouldn’t work out like that. They’d only just talked, but a guy could hope he guessed. 

Ryan definitely wasn’t a grinning fool the next day when Lance messaged him again. 

The best thing for them both was that after a week they hadn’t stopped messaging. Then a month. Then a year. Then a few more. They were friends, firm and unwavering. Both utterly in love with each other. Every time they met up, missed looks and shared moments that felt right but felt it could never be. 

**Ryan:** You’re a great person, you really are, you deserve the world and I’m here if you ever want to talk. 

**Lance:** I’m so glad we actually met properly, you’re one of the best things in my life right now. 

**Lance:** Hey, you wanna meet up?  
 **Ryan:** Yeah sure! Usual place?

**Lance:** I feel like I’m losing them. Like is it me? Am I just the seventh wheel? Maybe I’m not enough  
 **Ryan:** You are so good Lance, but please see someone about this, I don’t want to see you hurt in the end. My heart is breaking for you please, I want you to be happy.

**Ryan:** I feel like this town's too small for me, I want to see the world, live my dreams and be free to do it. But I’m stuck here and I want to learn how to make films but there’s other stuff I want I know I’ll never be able to have. Wanting it just makes me unhappy but I can’t stop…  
 **Lance:** I know what you mean. You’ll always have me. My shoulder is always here to lean on. It’s your life and you do what you feel is right. Life’s full of shit but so much good. And whatever you want doesn’t sound unhealthy. Wanna talk it out?  
 **Ryan:** It’s just boy trouble…  
 **Lance:** Tell me about it, I’m all ears.

_(Deleted message) I love you Lance, I really do but you’re my best friend and I’ve loved you since I was 16… Please don’t hate me I wouldnt be able to stand it if you did._

_(Deleted message) Ryan, I love you. I want you. The world be damned… But I know you don’t like me that way._

It was Lance’s twenty-first birthday. People had showed up, sure, but not the ones that meant anything. He had drifted from his friends and had been forgotten about. No one but Ryan had stood by him. Lance wasn’t in the mood to try anymore. He had graduated but he wasn’t happy. He watched on as everyone else started pre-drinks as the sun started to set.

But Lance saw a flicker of light. A pull. A song that resonated in his bones. The _Cirque des Rêves_ had returned. One quick message later, Lance was sneaking out of his own party to meet Ryan at the _Cirque’s_ gates. They smiled and hugged and walked into the grounds. It had grown from the last time they were there but it was nice. Lance intertwined their little fingers ,and immediately felt the blush on his face rise as Ryan took his hand fully. Maybe there was hope. 

They ran through the cloud maze, laughed and giggled at one of the acts as they morphed into passersby. They bought each other sweets and desserts that lined one of the wooden paths and around the cauldron, the flickering light illuminated Ryan’s face in such a way Lance couldn’t resist cradling Ryan’s face. He leaned in and place a small kiss on the corner of Ryan’s mouth. He pulled away, too damn anxious. He hadn’t meant to but it had felt right, especially in the Night Circus. 

Ryan was over the moon, Lance had kissed him! He reeled Lance back in and placed his lips on Lance’s and let the proverbial fireworks explode. It was everything he had dreamed of and more. Judging by the hazy look on Lance’s face, it was definitely reciprocated. 

“I love you, I’ve loved you since that day we talked five years ago. I want you,” He murmured, and Lance’s eyes, full of love and adoration, mended his heart and knew he was home wherever Lance was. 

And Lance? Lance was so gone. He was so gone for Ryan. 

“I love you too, so much, it’s been _years_ Ry, years.” Lance moved into hug Ryan when the cauldron started to spit fire. Multi-coloured flames and embers lit up the gathering dusk. They looked at it and kissed once move. He was right when he was younger when he decided the Circus was home. He was a _Rêver_ at heart and the Night Circus was home. With Ryan at his side, Lance could do anything. 

They were oblivious to the three people at their side.

“Seems like Marco and Cecile approve of the _Cirque’s_ new guardians.” One of the men said, as they looked on. 

“Should we tell them now?” His twin asked, arm in arm with her husband. 

“Let them have the night. They love the Circus, Bailey chased after us remember Widget?”

“How could I forget Poppet?”

The three looked on as the stars told stories of Ryan and Lance’s adventures as they ran the _Cirque des Rêves._ They knew the _Cirque_ had made the right choice and would be able to rest knowing it was in good hands.


End file.
